A few months ago, I played a game of Zero Variance. If you’ve never heard of it, which is likely, Zero Variance is a mental magic-ish format where you can play any card. Stephen Menendian wrote a pretty good article about it at http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/misc/16754_So_Many_Insane_Plays_Zero_Variance_The_Ultimate_Mental_Magic_Format.html You should check that out for the rules, and it’s a very entertaining read.
Besides being an enormous amount of fun (and probably the single hardest game of Magic to win ever), I realized a play by play recap of the match could get people interested in the format, and provide a new blog entry, which have been lacking. So lets get to it!
Unfortunately, I lost the first 2 turns of plays due to Cockatrice (the place where I was playing) crashing and having the chat be lost, but I can summarize here
I won the roll and chose to start off with a Leyline of Lightning (which did nothing the entire game), while my opponent got his lucky Gemstone Caverns out by pitching Boseiju (arguable the most powerful card in the format, so it was nice to see we wouldn’t be fighting over it). I played a utopia land (a 5 color land with no drawback) and a volcanic island my first 2 turns, while he played a tropical island and a ancient tomb. I cycled a renewed faith to get 2 life (which, once again, turned out to be irrelevant) then began my third turn, where things began to get interesting.
[19:24] Me: my turn, i play wasteland and destroy ancient tomb
[19:27] Opponent: Tap Tropical Island to Stifle Wasteland’s ability.
I now have 4 cards in hand.
[19:28] Me: tap my lands to play remand
4 cards in hand
[19:29] Opponent: Tap Ancient Tomb (Life to 18) and Gemstone Caverns for U.
Cycle Complicate. Point the trigger at Remand.
[19:29] Me: stack resolves
end with me: 22
leyline of lightning
volcanic island (tapped)
utopia (tapped)
in play
4 cards in hand
[19:31] Opponent: I have 18 life, Ancient Tomb, Gemstone Caverns, and Tropical Island in play.
4 cards in hand.
This turn was a comedy of errors on my part. Not only did I lose a land and a card, but I ended the turn with him having 2 more mana than me, poised to be 3, with both of us still having the same amount of cards. However, since both of us were pretty new to the format, he was unable to capitalize completely on this surge in resources. He ended up playing an explore, Crystal Vein, and a utopia.
Realizing the extent of my mistake, I simply played snow covered island and passed. I knew I was going to go for scrying sheets at this point, as it seemed to be the only way I could make up card advantage, but I wanted the blue source more than the colorless one.
[20:24] Opponent: Okay. Untap and draw, to 5 cards in hand.
Play Tectonic Edge.
Tap Crystal Vein and Tropical Island, play Sundial of the Infinite.
[20:26] Me: hmm
3 cards correct?
[20:26] Opponent: Yes.
[20:28] Me: it resolves
[20:28] Opponent: Pass the turn.
[20:29] Me: i will cycle esper soujourners, tapping ancient tomb
[20:29] Opponent: In response, I will end the turn, tapping Utopia.
This exiles the card draw effect and the tap effect.
[20:30] Me: yep
him 18
Sundial of the infinite (tapped)
gemstone caverns (pitched boseiju)
ancient tomb
crystal vein (tapped)
trop island (tapped)
utopia (tapped)
tectonic edge
3 cards
His next turn was no better for me. I once again failed miserably, tapping his ancient tomb when he had the sundial out. At this point, I knew that I could make no more mistakes at all. Already he had buried me in every resource imaginable and was well on the way to simply winning by drawing all the free counterspells out of my hand with cheap 2 for 1s and powerful threats that would kill me if I let them resolve. I did my turn, playing the Scrying sheets and passing with
leyline of lightning
volcanic island
utopia
snow covered island
scrying sheets
3 cards
I saw a few plays that he could try here. Obviously he wanted to attack my mana base even further, so I figured he would be playing some sort of split second spell and prepared myself for wipe away. However, his play was slightly different.
[20:32] Opponent: Untap and draw to 4 cards.
Play Ghost Quarter.
Tap Utopia, Gemstone Mine, Ancient Tomb (life to 16), and Tectonic Edge to play Word of Seizing on Scrying Sheets.
[20:35] Me: I wil add 1 snow to my mana pool
[20:35] Opponent: Resolve Word of Seizing?
[20:35] Me: yes
[20:37] Opponent: I have untapped Crystal Vein, Ghost Quarter, Scrying Sheets (until EOT), and Tropical Island.
[20:38] Opponent: Float a Snow mana with Scrying Sheets, then Ghost Quarter it.
2 cards in hand.
[21:12] Me: trickbind the ghost quarter
with floating
and my snow covered island
[21:13] Me: here’s my board
me: 22
leyline of lightning
volcanic island (tapped)
utopia
snow covered island
2 cards
This was my first break. He was planning to annihilate me in mana advantage here, and though he still had a sizeable lead in that department, I had forced him to change his plans a little. But his turn was still on:
21:22] Opponent: Trickbind Resolves.
Tap Tropical Island to suspend Ancestral Visions
[21:24] Me: ok
so your board is
him 16
Sundial of the infinite
gemstone caverns (pitched boseiju) (tapped)
ancient tomb (tapped)
crystal vein
trop island (tapped)
utopia (tapped)
tectonic edge (tapped)
ghost quarter (tapped, saced)
scrying sheets (tapped)
1 cards
ancestral visions suspended
correct?
[21:26] Opponent: Correct.
[21:26] Me: mine is
me: 22
leyline of lightning
volcanic island (tapped)
utopia
snow covered island (tapped)
2 cards
[21:26] Opponent: And I’ll pass the turn and return the Scrying Sheets to you.
Immediately, my brain began working. Ancestral visions, if Misdirected, could provide me with the card advantage that I needed to keep myself in the game. As long as I kept my mana up, I could also deny him access to those cards by countering the Visions with one of the 2 remaining non spell counters (ghost lit warder and decree of silence) as long as he didn’t use them earlier.
[21:27] Me: ok
i will draw to 3
i will play cryptic command
[21:29] Opponent: Choose your modes:
[21:29] Me: bouncing ancient tomb and drawing a card
[21:30] Opponent: Command resolves. I have two cards in hand, you have three.
[21:31] Me: i will play a tundra
and end
me: 22
leyline of lightning
volcanic island (tapped)
utopia (tapped)
snow covered island (tapped)
scrying sheets (tapped)
tundra
2 cards
Here, he was tapped out, so I decided to void a versatile answer and get rid of some of his mana as well. I also played my third island here so I could access thwart later in the game (which would be very relevant…)
We sped through a few turns where he played an underground sea and I played a bounceland (Izzet Boilerworks). He then proceeded to cycle Krosan tuskers (ouch) and play another utopia. This was a play I had forgotten about, and though it was annoying there was little I could do except play on.
[17:27] Me: play dust bowl
3 cards in hand
me: 22
leyline of lightning
volcanic island
Izzet boilerworks
snow covered island
scrying sheets
tundra
dust bowl
3 cards
then tap tundra and boilerworks to cycle bant sojourners
[17:27] Opponent: Hold on.
I need to recall my board state as well.
[17:28] Me: him 16
Sundial of the infinite
gemstone caverns
crystal vein
trop island
utopia
tectonic edge
utopia
underground sea
4 cards
ancestrl visions suspended (2 ctrs)
thats what i have
[17:29] Opponent: That sounds right to me.
Alright, the cycling resolves.
I wanted to get a clock on him here, as his ancient tomb had taken a good chunk out of him, and as long as I didn’t forget to attack (as I had forgotten to activate Leyline a billion times) I could possibly get him within some sort of burn spell. Feeling pretty good about my chances, this sequence occurred:
[17:30] Opponent: EoT, I’ll tap all of my lands to cast Clockspinning with Buyback, targetting Ancestral Vision
[17:30] Me: hm
channel ghost lit warder
counter that
i am tapped out
I didn’t want to have to deal with visions a turn early, as I was just beginning to have some say about the game, so I used one of the non-spells to stop him. In the context of what was happening, it seemed like a good idea, but was probably yet another misplay by me. Now, I had no protection for my misdirection play, and had to rely on him not knowing of decree’s existence. However, the following turn made this completely irrelevant.
[17:31] Opponent: Sounds good.
Untap and draw to 4 cards in hand.
Ancestral Vision has 1 counter on it.
I think it’s time to end this. Sacrifice Crystal Vein and tap down for Obliterate.
[17:44] Me: hm
well then
[17:45] Opponent: If this resolves, there will be an empty board. I will have three cards in hand, you will have 2.
[17:46] Me: return tundra, snow covered island, and volcanic island to hand to play thwart, targeting obliterate. it does nothing.
obliterate is fine
no other responses
[17:48] Opponent: That’s fine. You’ll have 4 cards in hand.
[17:49] Me: yes
[17:50] Opponent: I will play a basic Island and pass the turn.
I will have two cards in hand.
I actually attempted to play gush here, before realizing it was banned in legacy (the banned list we were using), though thwart was almost as good. With this turn, the tide of the game shifted completely. Now I had far more resources to abuse than he did and he had nothing that could stop my Misdirection next turn.
[17:51] Me: yep
ok i will draw to 5
play utopia and pass
4 cards, 22 life
[17:53] Opponent: I will untap. On my upkeep, Ancestral Vision will resolve, then I will draw to six cards in hand.
[17:53] Me: i will respond to visions
play misdirection, exiling storm crow
target me
[18:01] Opponent: That’s fine. I’ll play an Island and pass with two cards in hand to your 5.
[18:02] Me: i’ll draw to 6
[18:02] Opponent: Scratch that – I’ll play a Utopia instead.
This cemented the lead I had gained with the obliterate sequence. Having 3 more cards than him would make it very easy to win, especially if I didn’t make and substantial errors. Though he still had the jump on me in terms of mana, I could finally compete on his level.
[18:05] Me: i will play tiaga
and pass
5 cards in hand
[18:06] Opponent: I will untap and draw to three cards in hand.
I will play a Utopia and pass the turn.
[18:08] Me: i will draw to 6
play mishra;s factory
end
I have literally no idea why I played taiga here instead of utopia, but mishra’s factory was simply another attempt to get a beater out that would kill him in a few turns, only this one was twice the size and a land. Had the game gone much longer, that would probably have been what I would have done. However, this final sequence occurred.
[18:11] Opponent: I will cast Thirst for Knowledge at EOT.
[18:11] Me: hm
i will exile simian spirit guide from hand
tap out to play plagiarize
target you
[18:13] Opponent: I will concede the game.
gg
[18:13] Me: gg
My super-secret trump card of plagiarize would have rocketed me up to 8 cards in hand and sliced him down to 1 had the game progressed, but the writing was on the wall for him here. I could 2 for 1 myself several times and still end up on top. Seeing defeat soon in sight, he conceded.
This has been long enough, so I’ll wrap it up fast. I strongly encourage you to play Zero Variance, as it is one of the most fun formats I have ever played (though my brain almost exploded at a few points). In addition, you don’t need perfect play to triumph in the end, and even when it looks the worst for you, there is always a chance for you to come out victorious.